Hard to be me

One of the things that is hard about being me is that Sven gets all of the attention. I don't want to sound ungrateful or jealous. Sven is a handsome, talented guy and my best pal, but when does Sven Sundgaard's Penis get a taste of the spotlight? I can't just hang out and around waiting for photographers to snap a picture of me. That would probably be the end of Sven's career and I would not want to do that to him. Although there is that one photo from college where I'm resting on the forehead of... no better not go there. Anyway that is just the price you pay for bein' a penis.