Hard to be me

One of the things that is hard about being me is that Sven gets all of the attention. I don't want to sound ungrateful or jealous. Sven is a handsome, talented guy and my best pal, but when does Sven Sundgaard's Penis get a taste of the spotlight? I can't just hang out and around waiting for photographers to snap a picture of me. That would probably be the end of Sven's career and I would not want to do that to him. Although there is that one photo from college where I'm resting on the forehead of... no better not go there. Anyway that is just the price you pay for bein' a penis.

Oh my gosh!

Someone told me that a lot of people are linking to my page. Over little old me? Well, let's not overstate the "little" part. Ha ha ha... One of my friends showed me how to see how many people are looking at my site and I cannot believe it!! Now I feel pressure to perform and am wilting under the spotlight so to speak. Just a another joke there. Ha ha! I am not sure what to write now. I will think of something good I promise. Just don't expect any dirt on Sven or answers to any of those rude questions about whether he likes boys or girls. Sven is my boy, and I won't do him like that. You hear me, Sven. You my boy!

More about me, Sven Sundgaard's Penis

Get to know me a little better. The questions that really help you to know me. Have fun.
If you could live in any other place, where & why?	I've always fancied being Alec Baldwin's penis for just a day. I'll bet that guy gets himself into some interesting situations.
What animal best represents you & why?	Oh, definitely a sea monkey. Because I like the ocean and monkeys are funny. I'm very funny.
What is the craziest thing you ever did?	One winter day when it was really cold in the house, I curled up so tight that Sven couldn't pee! Boy, he was mad. Oh dear. He probably won't like me telling that story.
If you could meet anyone, who would it be & why?	I would like to meet Rainbow Brite. She spreads a lot of happiness, just like me. (you didn't say they had to be real!)
If you could go back in time & live in any decade, which would it be & why?	I'd live in the 20's when penises were uncut, rough, and tumble.
If you could have any superpower what would it be?	Laser eye. Pyoo pyoo pyoo!!!
Whos is your ultimate celebrity crush?	I'll never tell!
What color best represents you?	Lavendar. Definitely Lavendar. I like how it smells, and it's a nice color to look at.
What would your life's theme song be?	The theme from Who's The Boss?
Who would you cast to play you in a movie?	Well, I've been told that I look like Adrien Brody's penis, but to be honest, I'd rather be played by Terrence Howard's penis. I know. Silly, isn't it?
What celebrity best represents your vision of fashion?	I can tell you who it is NOT, and that would be Britney Spears.
What would your life movie be called?	"All Up In There: The Thousandth Push-up"
What is the greatest music video of all time?	Fergie, London Bridge
If you could star in any t.v. show, which one would it be?	BJ and the Bear
What vehicle best represents you?	I'm lean and sleak like a Ferarri Testa Rossa
If you could bring back 1 famous person from the dead for a day, who & why?	Ew! That's gross. Yucky poo!
If you became president, what would you do first?	I would let anyone love anyone they wanted. Then I'd spit all over the oval office. Hee hee!
If you got one tattoo, what would it be?	No. Friggin'. Way. No way, no how am I getting a tattoo! Needles and penises do not mix.
If you were on MTV's Made, what would you ask to be?	A vagina. Just for like an hour. Just to see what it's like.
Who do you think is the hottest athlete?	Oh, I won't say, but they're very atheletic and very good at what they do (his name is Sven S.) ;-)
Who do you think is the hottest actor/actress?	Really, these questions are so superficial.
Who do you think is the hottest musician/singer/rapper?	No!
Who do you think is the hottest t.v. reality star?	No!
What sport best represents you & why?	The marathon! I'm all about going the distance, baby!
What is your most missed memory of childhood?	I miss my foreskin.
What is your greatest accomplishment?	Oh my! Once again, I don't think Sven would approve of me telling these stories! But there was more than four people in the room. ;-)

Hey, everyone!

Gosh! I've never had a blog before. I'm not really sure what to write about so I'm going to use Sven's bio as a template. Is that cheating?

When I was young, I wanted to be: Big and hard...er... I mean strong.

Favorite story you ever worked on: I think you're getting me confused with Sven. His first story was the snowstorm of January 2004 in Duluth; 27 inches of snow in one storm. I'm pretty impressive, but that's a lot of inches to look up to.

Favorite movie: "Hard Ball"

Who's your idol? Peter North

Favorite vacation spot: Oh, I might get in trouble with Sven if I tell you that. Tee hee!

Your inspiration: Al Roker's penis.

Favorite CD/Album: King Missile is my fave band, but I can't pick one album.

Favorite subject in school: Sex Education.

Favorite sport to watch: Log rolling.

Why do you like your job: Dude, are you kidding me? I'm a penis! This is friggin' sweet!

I hope you feel closer to me now that you know a little more about me. Stay tuned for more. I love you all!